Today i have almost came to a complete outburst i feel like shit. sitting in my room on a complete downer. It's not just today thats caused this i had an amazing day went to a record fair picked up some amazing vinyl took some amazing pictures and in general had a blast finally felt like i'm living again. I know i'm being stupid. when i've been down lately most of the people around me have been there quickly enough to tell me i'm being stupid infact i am fed up of being told to man up and move on. So thats the first Get to fuck! i am me if you don't like that sometimes i don't know how to handle things or at least say that you don't wanna hear it or you think I'm moaning a little to much. theres a politer way that doesn't make the recipient of what you have just said feel bad.
''"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
Another thing that has been grinding my gears that was properly brought to my attention today is people making up problems. I genuinely love anyone i call my friend so i dont see why you like as much getting the negative attention from me when im feeling really shit for you fair enough i might be a little more open and come across as nicer. I'm not being nicer im just being more open. I like to tell people nice things when i feel appropriate not when your just fishing for a fucking compliment. so get to fuck. this also includes people who are pretending to feel shit for jokes or be angry for jokes or things like that grow to fuck up and stop mucking with my head. its not something i want my friends to do.
Another thing is I'm tired of being a people pleaser. I'm fed up of being in environments when i cant really open up and tell my friends what i think in worry of them being a dick. for example when someone asks an opinion from me im a generally honest person you must be able to see my mouth defying my face when im lying through my teeth cause if i dont you'll go off on one. this is not something i plan to do much longer get to fuck.
I'm gonna draw this to a close there are about seven or eight more in me but for tonight i've got theese ones out
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